Navigating Adult Friendships
Friends are special people. We grow with them, as children. We lean on them, as adults. We enjoy them, always. They’re the family that we get to choose. I truly believe that. Unfortunately, sometimes friends drift apart. Unfortunately, sometimes friends say things that hurt one another. Unfortunately, sometimes friendships end.It’s a fact of life, I suppose, but lately it’s been bugging me more and more. I don’t have many friends from childhood but honestly, I’m happy with that. Many of my childhood friends and I never really had anything in common. They were friendships born out of proximity. I grew up in a small town. There were only 118 in my graduating class. Proximity-friendships ruled my youth, and they served a purpose.
However, I have one childhood friendship that I cling to with a force. My dear friend is so important to me. Truth be told, we’ve grown into extremely different individuals. We live much different lives. But there’s a mutual respect and love there, and I think that’s what keeps our relationship growing. We go months (years?) without actually seeing each other, but there’s a bond there that we both hold sacred. The other few childhood friendships I took into adulthood have fizzled out. It’s unfortunate, since there weren’t many to begin with, but those friendships fizzled for a reason. They weren’t protected.As an adult, I try to cherish my friendships. Each is precious to me. Making new friends is harder every year. Grown-ups have their own lives, their own families, and their own priorities, which makes adding someone completely new to our lives difficult. I’ve learned that befriending someone as an adult is pretty much like dating. You have to make a fairly constant effort, and it has to be reciprocated. Not all “failed” adult friendships are because two people aren’t compatible. Many times, adult friendships fail because of lack of effort on both ends. That lack of effort may be due to time constraints, personal lifestyles, or simply just a lack of proximity.I’ve challenged myself to put more effort into these adult-friendship relationships. I want to protect them, so that they can grow. We protect our romantic relationships in this way, shouldn’t friendships be treated similarly? When two people have a mutual respect for each other and a desire to be in one another’s lives, I believe that should be protected and cherished.There aren’t many of these types of relationships. True friendships as adults are few and far between. I challenge myself and you to seek out new friendships. For me, it feels icky and uncomfortable. I love people, but I tend to stay in my comfort zone. Not all friendships you seek will come to fruition, but I know one thing for sure: If you don’t put forth the effort, you’ll never have it. You have to kindle your relationships no matter who they’re with: spouses, siblings, children, or friends. [Tweet "Kindle those relationships & watch that fire grow. Protect it with all your might @makingmrsm"]
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